Fair and Unfair
When a child says . . .

You might say . . .

“Me and Emily are sharing the stickers.”
“You two found a fair way to make sure you
both got to use what you need.”
“Andrew took the computer and my name was
the next one on the list.”
“That sounds unfair. How can we fix it?”
“Juan took all the grapes at snack and now
there’s none left and I never got any.”
“Hmm. That’s unfair, isn’t it? Let’s go see what
we can do to make it right.”
“Look! Me and Dae and Ava are taking turns
on the wagon.”
“How fair! Now everybody gets a turn to be
the rider and the puller.”
People Are Different—And That Is Good
If a child says . . .

You might say . . .

“I don’t want to play with Jesus. He can’t talk
right.” “Jesus talks in Spanish like his family does.

You talk in English like your family does. How
about we teach Jesus a few words in English,
and he can teach us a few words in Spanish?”
“Why is Ella so fat? She’s gonna break the
chair if she sits on it.”
“Ella is bigger than you. Some people are
bigger and some people are smaller. And our
chairs are made for all sizes of people. How do
you think Ella might feel when she hears you
talk about her size?”
“Berta, you can’t play fire with us because
only boys and mans can be firemans.”
“Both men and women can be firefighters.

And in our class, boys and girls can do all the
same pretend play too.”
From Beyond Behavior Management: The Six Life Skills Children Need, second edition, by Jenna Bilmes, © 2012.

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