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Help Define the Conflict
The clues
The conflict is . . .

Gabriel is arguing with Kyrha over who will
use the wagon. Each one says that they want
to use the wagon.

Two kids want to use the same wagon.

Tyreck and Caden jostle with each other so
they can better see the new rat. Each one says
they want to see the rat.

Two kids both want to see the rat.

Daniel is using the red beads and LaVita moves
the beads to her side of the table. Each one
says they want to use the beads.

Two kids want to use the same beads.

Help Children Find Resolutions
If . . .

Try . . .

Sounds like . . .

The child is very new at
brainstorming solutions.

Suggest one or more
solutions, such as sharing,
taking turns, or finding
duplicate items.

Instead of saying, “You can
find more markers or put
your name on a waiting
list,” think of saying, “Some
children decide to find more
markers on the shelf and
some children like to put
their name on a waiting
list.” Using this format helps
children think of solutions
without the teacher taking
control of the process.

The child has had ample
experience brainstorming
solutions. Encourage the child to find a
peer to help.

“Would you like to find
another friend to help you
think?” “Who might know?”
“Who can you ask?”
Help the child break through
his or her block.

“Pretend you’re a kid who
has an idea. What would you
say?” From Beyond Behavior Management: The Six Life Skills Children Need, second edition, by Jenna Bilmes, © 2012.

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