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Scripts: Chapter 5, Collaboration
Help Children Calm Down
Neutral statement
Biased statement
“Wow, it sounds like two children are very
upset about something. Let’s stop for a minute
so we can all hear what the conflict is all
about.” “It sounds like you’re upset that Benjamin took
the stethoscope you were using.”
“Whoa. It sounds like we have a conflict here.

We’ll fix this so it works for everyone. First,
let’s do some STAR breathing. Stop, Take a
Deep Breath, and Relax.”
“I see that Angel isn’t letting you have any
space to work.”
“Uh-oh. It looks like we have a conflict about
feeding Fishy. Let’s all get a drink of water and
then we can figure things out.”
“Whoa. It sounds like it was Amie’s turn to
feed Fishy but Ricardo pulled the food away
from her. Let’s all get a drink of water and then
we can figure things out.”
Help Children Say What They Need and Want
What the child says . . .

How you reframe it . . .

“I want Pia to give me my book back.”
“So you want the book, is that right?”
“I want Frederick to give me a turn at the
computer.” “You want to use the computer, is that right?”
“I want to set the table all by myself. I don’t
want to do it with Leah.”
“You want to set the table by yourself. Is that
what you said?”
From Beyond Behavior Management: The Six Life Skills Children Need, second edition, by Jenna Bilmes, © 2012.

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