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Double tap to zoom in and out on mobile devices. having made concrete contributions, opportunities for common understand- ing and true community building were not possible this time. In a world where a disaster changes lives forever, it is certain that people will be there for each other. Creating and sustaining meaningful interactions and exchanges with one another can have positive lessons for all, with or without a storm. We can start by affirming the reason for the action—and acknowledging the urgency of the situation—and that the action upholds individual values and principles of helping others. The hardest part is main- taining a sense of civility in difficult situations: having a high standard of respect for others without assumptions, value judgments, or arrogance. For respect builds trust among people; it makes us humble and creates the space—that third space—where both parties can coexist for common good and the affirmation of human dignity. Civility is beyond being nice, play- ing by the rules, and acting accordingly. It defines approaches to face the world—or a storm—with a heart that asserts respect and trust. Genuine civil- ity, indeed, is hard work. Summary Janet Gonzalez-Mena Reading what my coauthors had to say brought home to me how words trigger feelings and some words have dif- ferent meanings depending on personal experience. Nice is one of those words. I started with Marcus and his “It’s nice to be nice,” and look where it took us! I certainly understand Holly Elissa’s strong reaction and the hegemony of nice in ECE. Being nice is often a way of getting along, smiling, and being quite dishonest. But Marcus was never like that. He was the last person you would expect to be giving advice using the word nice. I should have painted a picture of him, because his words contrasted with his appearance. He was a dark-skinned, hefty, tough-looking Chicano with long hair and a beard. He must have looked scary to some people until they talked to him. He was a fierce advo- cate for civil rights, and at the same time he displayed civility. He didn’t use that word, but I think that’s what he meant when he used the word nice. He danced with conflict and—as Debra said—used the dance as a way to expand his knowledge. Debra also wrote about equity and social justice, which Marcus dealt with his whole life. He was civil, but it was clear from the day I met him that he Copyrighted Material O U R WAY TO SIN CER ITY    15