• Recognize children both as individuals and as members ofthe group.
• Promote both independence and interdependence.
• Work with children to balance assertion with respect for authority.
• Help children recognize their areas of strength and strategize how to work on
Ifyou find that a strategy isn’t working or that a parent disapproves ofa particular
strategy,look deeper to see ifthe reason might be a cultural clash.Ifit is,either modify
the activity or simply try another one instead.
TThhee SSiixx LLiiffee SSkkiillllss
For children to negotiate the world successfully, they need to develop six strengths
which grow out ofpositive beliefs about the world around them and culturally appro-
priate social skills.The six essential strengths are
• Attachment—“I have a grown-up who cherishes me and keeps me safe.”
• Affiliation—“I can have a friend and be a friend.”
• Self-regulation—“I can manage my strong emotions and am in control of my
• Initiative—“I am constantly growing and changing and learning new things.”
• Problem solving—“I can solve problems and resolve conflicts.”
• Respect—“I have unique gifts and challenges and so do others.”
The way teachers approach guidance and discipline can either help children develop
the strengths they need to have productive and purposeful lives or hold them back.
Attachment—“I have a grown-up who cherishes me and keeps
Reflect for a moment on your own experiences,and think about the people who have
affected your life. Was it a grandmother or a teacher? Was it a coach? What were the
qualities of those personal relationships? Did you feel safe with that person? Did you
feel valued? How did that person earn your respect?
To be successful in school and in life, children must believe there is an adult they
can count on to nurture them and keep them safe.They need a vision ofadults as valu-
able resources who can guide and support them through their journey of growth and
Beyond Behavior Management44